Prior to this, we’ve had women books and novels, all talk about what women want,how to catch a cheating man,3 can play the game,think like a man and all. But has it occurred to you what we men really want from a woman. And at this stage of my life,these ain’t relationship tips but ‘engagement ring’ tips.lol. Read on…….
B. I. P. S. (Beauty. Industrious. Personality. Spirituality. )
Beauty: Many claim its not by looks,but really,I’ll ask,what then attracts me to walk up to you? In as much as this point is not the only one,it is vital. Aha,and beauty is defined also by how u walk,how you are dressed,how many tattoos and piercings you have,and yes,facial and body looks.
We all know men are drawn and entangled to what they see.So if you are not packaged in a way that makes our instincts want to walk up to you,my dear, a change is needed. Although,I can’t deny that sometimes,men see things which you probably thought was a disadvantage,and get attracted. I’ve seen men attracted to ladies with gap tooth,braces,bow-leg,mega-tiny voice, extra sized bodies and yes, over skinny. The bottom line is this,there must be this selling point on the physical appearance. Yes beauty fades,but it most often than not initiates the beginning of that love story. Its on that rationale that you find some ladies with so many date offers( cause we want people to see us with the pretty lady), a lot of followers on instagram,and most importantly, a lot of guys approaching you or sending a bottle of champagne to your table if you are seated alone at a bar. Even at the church or office,you get a lot of stares and comments. So while beauty alone does not keep your man,its could help you get the attention of a man. But why do we see many pretty ladies single?
Industrious: dictionary defines this as ‘working energetically and devoted;hard working,diligent. Ladies,no one is hard working based on the past or in your mind. If we can’t see things in you that makes you an asset,please,eat your beauty. I can’t say all ladies ,but I’ll emphasise on many ladies,especially in Africa are basically out to get,not to offer. For you to get that ring,u have to prove that the cooking would be superb,the kids won’t be left at school,and even if the man has all the money,his lady won’t send it down the drain. We want ladies who are goal-getters, who own make up studios and event management companies, who strive to make about the same money their spouse makes. We don’t want liabilities. We don’t want ladies who are looking out for a footballer or MD to marry them. Back in the days,we are usually discouraged by ambitious and successful ladies. But now,this is our drive. Have you considered that the higher your prospects,the higher the standard of your potential suitors? Ambitious is the new sexy.
Personality: I guess this is the most important. Its basically what keep the man going. After you got approached,and he’s seen that you have prospects for greatness,on your own,the next thing is how compatible your personality is to his. Don’t limit this to being courteous and well mannered. It involves your carriage and blissful nature of your actions. Its worthy to note that the personality which a man desires differ significantly to another man. While some love the outspoken,others love the reserved,while many might be indifferent. Argue from today till eternity, its expected that the man is the head,the woman is to submit and be a help mate. So essentially, a bossy and dominating lady won’t get that ring. There is a clear line between standing your grounds on rational situations and never succumbing to what your man offers. And ladies,I should point this out at this stage: the most rational thing to do when an argument is on,and is getting really heated,is to accept and be easy till the tension is cool, then air your views, and this is about the best approach when you know your spouse is responsible and rational. Arguments come ,but two wrongs barely make it right.
Kill the jealousy spirit, don’t try to know every detail, be friendly to people, and never talk rashly,its highly ‘un lady-like’. We want a lady who we know would be at peace with in-laws, trigger friends to come around, and ease tension when it seems to be building up.
Ooh yes,and please pidgin english is a turn off.
Spirituality: I hope no one was expecting the S to be sex. Above all,assume the muslim folks are reading this, being God-fearing is key. Even if you are no born-again,the decency,cleanliness(physically and technically) should be seen in you. Yes,you laugh at many guys who claim want to marry decent girls,wondering who would marry the indecent one. My take on that is this : what’s your business?why not make yourself one of the decent ones. Your nudes are all over BBM and twitter, you have the craziest tattoos, slept with brothers, and you expect to get a ring from a good guy?Hell no.!!
The man,by default provides for the home,the woman is expected to keep the home. We are most time gonna be out there trying to feed the house,we expect that you pray to God for us. Call us spoilt, but that’s how its always been. You are the one who should motivate the prayers, family outings, and every other good thing that keeps a home. If all you talk about while dating is club and eat out ,with less talk on investments,attending church,future plans,my dear,that ring would not be coming soon,and if at all it comes, the wrong foundation has been laid.
So ladies, keep a check on your BIPS, and rate yourself. Are you wifeable? Trust me,we know the girlfriends, and we know the wives. Which do you prefer to be?