Some nights ago, I was descending Falomo Bridge in my Suzuki SX4, going across Civic Centre, and then a vehicle was racing down and overtook me. I swore I was going to overtake the SUV, I pumped my gas, and behold, the car made a left turn. Then it dawned on me: many of us just chase others, compare ourselves with others with them, disregarding the fact that we are all coming from separate places, and headed to different locations.
Below, I’ll enlist a few reasons why you should not compare yourself with others.
Realize that everybody is different, because we are. People are born to be different; no two of us are the same. My Suzuki’s engine was no match to that SUV’s. We have different mindsets, we interpret things differently, we have different experiences, and we feel different emotions. Even identical twins are different from each other. We all will always have room for improvement; nobody is flawless, whether it is on the outside or on the inside. As much as some people may want to believe otherwise, nobody is perfect. Something you can do is start thinking how different they are from you.
Everyone Is Jealous of Everyone Else .You might not think so but even your idols would be envious of some aspect of your life or personality. I mean no Hollywood star can walk down the street without being mobbed or at least ogled. As much as you’d love to be D’ Banj, remember that he’s human too, and would love to possess one or two aspects of your life! And the same goes for people we know. As jealous as you are of your older brother’s freedom or wealth, you can bet your butt that he’s just as envious of some talent or attribute of yours.
What Comes Around Goes Around. When you see someone speeding along in their convertible Mercedes with a big fat grin on their face on a lovely sunny day, it’s tempting to think “Wow, there’s someone who knows how to live, I want to be that person!” But remember that what you are seeing is just a snapshot of a person’s life. You can’t possible know what they were doing just a week before, or what about a year before? We all have our ups and downs and over a lifetime the good and bad things, for the most part, just about even out between people. So yes, watch this person as they enjoy their shiny Merc, but remember that they may have had to work hard for that car, they may have overcome an illness, or they may be a bank robber! Who knows?! The point is don’t be jealous of a snapshot, what goes around comes around, and some day you may well be on top of the word while that person’s world is falling down around them.
Apples and Oranges – People just aren’t the same. Sure we’re all made up of the same basic anatomical parts, but by the time our upbringing, our culture and our experiences have had their way with us we might as well compare chalk with cheese. Some things are universal, shared human experiences like love and loss, but there is just so much scope for diversity when it comes to human lives and personalities that it’s really not fair to compare one human to another. Whether someone else has more money, more fame, nicer hair, longer legs or whatever, they can never be us! The fact is that no matter who you are, you will always be the very best version of you
It’s Damaging To Your Sense Of Self: Research has found that comparing breeds feelings of envy, low-self-confidence, and depression, as well as compromises our ability to trust others. While downward comparison, comparing ourselves to those less fortunate, can provide some benefit to one’s sense of self, even this form of comparison comes at a price. It requires that we take pleasure in someone else’s failures or misfortunes in order to feel adequate, which can fuel mean-spirited competitiveness versus collaboration; jealousy versus connection. When comparing leads you to devalue yourself or others you’ve entered dangerous territory
Recognize that comparing yourself to others is a bad habit. Society often projects flawless skin, big eyes, full lips, small nose, pure white teeth, smooth and shiny hair, curvy body, and designer clothes for women and they portray them as being happy. They portray tall men with flawless skin, six packs, and designer clothes with lots of women, and they define that that is what makes a man happy. Society is extremely successful in being able to brainwash people into believing they should look a certain way, act a certain way, and be a certain someone, when in reality every single one of us is different. What Society does is categorize people and they want you to believe that you have fewer rights to be happy because you do not fit an idealistic lifestyle. That’s why lots of men and women resort to plastic surgery, hide away from society, and grow up thinking that there’s something wrong with them.
The last but most important reason to avoid comparing ourselves with others is that when we do, we can be tempted to copy them, to do the same things, and to act and think like them. The problem with this is that if we copy someone, we will never know who we really are and what we really want, and then we will never grow spiritually.