Throw Back Time


I remember the first time I made coffee. It was some weeks into my present job, over 23 years old. The only time I’d had coffee, someone made it for me. So on this fine day, I was beside my office crush, Ogo Oguamanam (I know she is reading this). So I excused myself, mixed about 3 full spoon of powdered milk and about a spoon of coffee. You need no description of how that tasted. I went back to my seat, without tasting. Back beside Ogo, I started sipping. Nothing has ever been that bitter. I forced myself to finish it because dude did not want to fall his hand beside this babe. SMH
Moral of the story: Never try to impress, or feel intimidated by anyone.

I remember my first night in the boarding house. For reasons best known to my parents, they took me out of a mixed, day school (after JSS 3) in Lagos and dumped me in a catholic, boys-only school in the middle of a forest, in Ijebu Ode. Mum advised that I fetch water the night before and store it, and it would be warm in the morning. The end-of-year harmattarn was ready for me. The first bowl on my body, I hated my mum for the next 15 minutes. Apparently, I learnt freshly fetched water is warmer than “under the bed” stored water.
Moral of the story: Best lessons in life are self-learnt.

I remember waking up 6 am every Saturday morning. If you are in my age range and did not do this, you already missed a good part of life. Cadbury breakfast show was all that mattered. However, I had another obsession. That was when I would lick Maggi!! Yes, Maggi, that is used as seasoning for cooking. That’s the only time I can have my fill with no fear of being caught.
Moral of the story: erm erm, we all have weird sides. LMFAO

I remember when I was in JSS 1. My parents were quite broke, but I was, arguably though, in the most expensive school in the neighborhood then (learning field school, satellite town). So with my small daily pocket money of 20 naira, I would buy 2 packs of cheese balls and walk round school, so it would be said I eat cheese balls too. But that’s not even the gist. I insisted on celebrating my 10th birthday. As Mum couldn’t refuse, she told me to invite, but a few friends. I invited a handsome number. Then April 1 came, and mum produced cabin and zobo!! Ooh gosh, oh no. I almost fainted, I mean, I’ll be finished in school. But there was hope at the end of the tunnel: no one showed up!!!!!
But you see, I remember my 25th birthday party. The venue was overflowing, I couldn’t manage the crowd.
Moral of the story: SuruLereeeee

I remember the first time I toasted a babe and I knew what I was doing. Her name was Femi Ayayi. It was all mapped out. As it was time for short break, about 10am, I ran to the toilet, dampened my hair with water, apply gel to make it greasy, and my friend Tochukwu Mbanefo helped use comb to draw lines on my hair to make it look like waves from using sportin waves hair cream. Then when talking to Femi, I’ll face down, and when she thinks I’m being shy, I’m actually flaunting my curly hair.
Moral of the story: No moral, please.

I remember the first time I saw baileys in my father’s room. Then, he still used to drink a little, we were still Muslims I guess. I was under 10 years old. I would sip it, a sip every 2 days. Then one day, I took about half a cup and poured water back in the bottle, to top it up. All I know was my eyes went drowsy, and I start laughing so much, then I pass out. He never talked about it.
Moral of the story: excess alcohol is bad.

I remember the first time I had sex. It was……………. Aproko!!!!!!!!! I’m a virgin!


33 thoughts on “Throw Back Time

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  1. LMAO…ds actually got my ribs cracked up…frm coffee dt turned agbo, wish pple were present at dat birthday of cabin n zobo to laugh off sm fat ass…omg!!! Cn’t stop laughing


  2. The experience about coffee happened to me on the first day of my orientation on my new job. I thought coffee was like milo or bournvita, I poured so much coffee in my tea cup that it was boiling. It was so bitter that I had to stylishly throw it away…


  3. Nice one lil bro I remember a lot of this just like yesterday!!! Hahahaha @ spoting wave’s I bet I did that too


  4. Kola Amodu……..Always my Pinkie!!!!
    @ being a virgin….U know I Knw dat we both know that u r nt ….Lmao…..


  5. Throwbacks, throwbacks….if u don’t have stupid things to look back on, you haven’t matured. Nice one bruv!


  6. wooow, i cant just stop smiling. nice write up brova. its not easy to write something that everyone can relate to.UP PRINCE!!!


  7. Lol…make I ke…ckcc though,happy I passed through there too.made me understand life is not a bad of roses.all the slaps from those seniors and rushing for food…lol…’eh mass eh’. Nice write up brethren.


  8. Lmao, these throw backs are so funny, especially the cold water situation. Every one have throwbacks that can all relate to each moral lessons. Really nice one.


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