Letter to my n(ex)t.

Hey darling,

I actually hope you’d read this before I ask you out. I think I should make our relationship easy before it even begins. I just want to give you a few guidelines so that everything would be just fine.

If you have not read 11 shades me ,then we have not started. That tells a few about me. I’m so hoping you love to read. Read abstracts, read blogs, read things that are not always educational. Because I would ask you some very random phrases, and if consistently you are blank, I’ll start re-thinking. We could be talking, and I suddenly start typing on my phone, it means I just thought of a word or blog topic that I want to write down for future reference. At all at all, you have to read, comment and repost my blog. That’s a fundamental support you can give.

If at the point of reading this, you have not met the other 2 musketeers (Bimbo and Demola), you are less than a side chick. This brings me to this position: I have friends, close friends. Sometimes, I just love to be with them, alone. When we can all roll, why not. I just have a life outside the relationship, even if you are also priority. Meeting you does not mean life turns around. We are to incorporate each other in the other’s life, not alter it, except of course, if I’m living a wrong life.

The last time I had a pet name was back in A-levels school, when I was dating Linda (I’ll gist you about her). She used to call me cutey. Since then, I’ve not had a correct pet name. Others called me a few names randomly, like bobo, nigga, boify and co. Please think of a correct pet name, and start calling me that.

If you have read well about men, you would understand we are like rubber bands. Sometimes, with or without a reason, we just withdraw. But when you understand that men are like this, you realize that I’ll come back, and be closer to you. Just a few “hey, hope nothing” would just do. I just want space sometimes. And you know, that’s a good “miss my girlfriend” phase. So allow me miss you small.


Since I’ve been an advocate of “live your life’ and ‘space’, I am far from nosy. I don’t want to know all the ‘irrelevant details’. If we are gisting, why not, but you calling me just to tell me you are going to buy pizza, or who every lady on my dp is, or somewhat, then I’ll be thinking again. And in that same vein, don’t expect me to ask who you have been talking to, where are you going, and all the nosy things.

Don’t blame me please, but I’ve met so many Caros and Adas, and they have either walked out or been walked out, so I don’t assume or build too much big dreams early. And early is anything less than a year. So I’ll ask you your plans, future plans, but I won’t be showing any ‘married couple’ flavors. A day as it comes.

I’m a typical omo pastor. My dad had abundant time for his children. So trust me, I was raised well spiritually. Even though work and a few things take me a little away from the House of God, I’m still on check. Aunty, if church would make you grumble, and I mean the discomforting type of service like night vigils or straight days fasting, please shift. I don’t need anyone that can’t compliment or improve my spiritual life.

I’m done with the attitude/personality part. See, I’m looking for the type of money that would show “error” on a calculator. You have to be a part of that dream. I have a bad habit, I lose respect for unambitious people. Don’t stop at big dreams, I need to see you work for it. So if you think I’ll be a billionaire and leave you to cook and shop, I laugh in Spanish. No matter how flourishing I am, you MUST work, except when you are carrying Junior and his siblings.

By the way, you know that for every guy that calls me, that means I’ve received 9 female calls. Also, for every guy in my life, there are about 7 ladies. Calm your fears, they are in the friend zone, though I can’t deny that some won’t mind yourr position. Don’t get too emotional, try to over look a lot. Jealousy is allowed but know who to be jealous over. And since my mouth runs a lot, I’ll always give you gist about these ladies, which just means there are, but very few skeletons.

So in general, I love to drive, play childishly, talk business ideas, party occasionally, and I want to marry. Yes. So even though is not in a year’s time, it’s my long short-term goal. By now, you’ll know I have had the best of both worlds when it comes to dating and women. Now, settling down is a priority. If you are with me because it’s a bet or you heard my gist, well, I’ll accept my fate that its nemesis. LOL.

I’ll do my part, I expect your letter soon.

Inspiration by Jennifer Patrick of http://www.shughar.com


25 thoughts on “Letter to my n(ex)t.

Add yours

  1. Hahaha.
    I honestly hope she likes to read. Young lady, if you’re reading this, you’re showing great commitment. Keep going


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