10 + 1 guidelines to being a perfect side chick


This is part of a tri-episode, which was written for a relationship magazine, for fun. So its out of the usual inspiring posts I have.
Oh well, lets just have fun reading.

The good truth is many know they are the side chick, and are probably ok with it, for now at least. So there are basically rules you have to adhere to. The long and short of it is 1. You both want to have a good time and 2. You worry less where the relationship is headed. Once you start to fault that comfortable position you are in, the fun elopes.

So below are the well-researched, and summarized rules.

1. Stay spicily spicy. That’s one of your fundamental responsibilities. If there’s no spark, then allow him ‘endure’ his woman. He’s looking out for someone who sends him perky messages, and does some weird things to him at the mall. You can’t afford to be bottled up and void of spice, else he would wander what’s different about you and his main.

2. Give him space. You are not the main. You are the official miss handy. So you should only consider being available when he needs you, or when you desperately need him. No fuss about ‘where are you’, ‘what are you doing’, ‘why are you doing it’ and co. He gets a lot from his woman, and so he can’t have 2 people baby-sitting him. You basically have to be fun and not all up in his face. And like hell, you have every choice to do what you want to, so does he.

3. Don’t try to have “the talk”. You know men hate to have that talk. Not with our parents, not with our children. So why would you want to ‘talk’? That ‘we need to talk’ p kills us. So don’t even go there. Don’t ask where it’s leading to, what he wants out of you, and the likes. Your relationship with him is basically his side chick, pere!!

4. Go with the flow. Why should you have to quarrel with him? On what grounds? As long as he treats you well, and respects you and your space, don’t have an argument. Always remember, you should do it in a different, and of course better way, than his main. So when arguments come up, he just wants to run off, or replace you. And remember, because he has nothing so so lasting with you, he might not fight too hard for you. When you know he’s lying, just flow with it.

5. It’s not your business. Where he was, who he was on the phone with, and all that, is not allowed. Kaput. Also, when it comes to health, protection, and your needs, you come first. So how he does it, or gets its, isn’t your business. Lest I forget, never be a side chick to a broke brother.

6. Don’t spend special days with him. You should not be in the scene too often Allow madam play her role well on such days. It’s great if he spends the day before that special day with you. And if you are so dear, he would invite you to his birthday, because he’s so sure you would not be jealous or create a scene. And if he spends a day like Vals day with you, 2 things are involved (that’s if the main is available);

  • She is unbearable, and you might actually be the main while she is the side chick.
  • There is hope, if you have some admirable traits.

7. Allow him push the tabs. He’s the one cheating or flinging or having an affair. So let him keep tabs on you. This relationship shouldn’t be costing you, be it financially, emotionally, and health-wise and the likes.  In the same vein, if he’s with the main and you holla, you might be causing trouble. So just buzz only when you are so sure he’s alone or at work, or out of town, and alone.

8. Let him think you are the only one. Well, except you really do not care, and probably do not want him. You know guys are very jealous, and unfortunately hate to share (even if we share ourselves everywhere available). A side to it is, if he knows others are having you, that reduces your chances with him. On the other side, ask him to put a ring on it if he doesn’t want it distributed, LOOL. So be very tactful with him.

9. Skip the talk about the main. In this situation you are in, the most applicable phrase is “what you don’t know can’t kill you”. Even if he brings her up, shut him down. So all that stalking on Instagram and the likes, scratch it. If possible, don’t have any idea what she looks like. Just live like he’s the only one who exists.

10. When the chills are out, or dicey, fade out. Heart aches, too much dramas, or he’s got issues you can’t deal with, pick race!!

11. Finally, the most important rule is: Stop being a side chick!!!!

Before yall eat me raw for this, I hope you know that as there are side chicks, there are assistant boyfriends. Just that side chicks are more prevalent.



One thought on “10 + 1 guidelines to being a perfect side chick

Add yours

  1. Very well said Kola. An insightful piece…some main chicks could also apply these to their relationships, so they can be the main and the side at the same time *wink, wink*…*sigh…sometimes I don’t think guys even know what they want at the end of the day…bottom line…everybody grow the f up!


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