80/20 rule

New flame.

Over emphasised crush.

80/20 rule.

We all go through this. How does it work? I’d explain:

You meet a lady who’s pretty different from your woman. She wears sneakers instead of heels, or the other way around and that makes her so chic. She schooled in China, and that unconventional country,as compared to UK that your lady went to, and this makes her seem unconventional. Ooh, it’s like your man works with an oil company, rakes 700,000 a month, and travels alot but then,this dude you met owns a travel agency, makes about 400,000 a month. But because he’s got extra time and and can bring you lunch at work, you got butterflies in your tummy. That’s mainly what a new flame is about. It’s the sudden craze about someone with a different persona (not necessarily better).
On another side, is the “80/20 rule”.

Your man buys you gifts, spends weekends with you, work hard, has met your folks and flaunts you on every social media platform. The only lapse is, he’s 13 years older than you. While at NYSC camp, you meet a young man, your age mate, who sometimes calls you his baby mama,and you can both act like the “youngings” you guys are,the few times he manages to see you. To spend on you is pretty much a hurdle to cross. So what happens? You get so fascinated by the closeness in age and childlike behaviour, making you abandon the other 80% qualities in the older man, and sticking to the 20% younger fellow- Height of sub-standard.
Here’s the thing: In a relationship, there would be ladies with better qualities than yours, there would be men doing way better than your man.

Therein lies the real test of loyalty.
Are you quick to switch taste cause of a little hype? Do you forget your roots cause of a newly developed fruit?

Imagine a scenario where your man is too tired to take you out today, and another random guy who hasn’t seen you in 6 months jumps at the opportunity. I mean, would he be making as much of a sacrifice? Why make your man feel belittled due to such? You’ve forgotten the so many times of taking time off work to drop you off at a party…or your girl today is so exhausted from work that cooking isn’t even on the agenda for tonight, then one of your old flames says she wants you to try a new recipe you inspired her to cook-so you drive all the way to her house…what of everything else your girl had done right with you before then?
It’s perfectly normal to feel a thing- as trivial as it may seem, for another. It’s kinda sorta allowed. We are humans. HOWEVER, be quick to disregard such, except there are fundamental issues wrong with the current that you wanna absolutely get rid of the “current” and make it the “past”.


13 thoughts on “80/20 rule

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  1. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You better water your own grass and make it green. I now live in reality! Thanks for this piece Sola x


  2. Hmmm…. Annoyingly it goes both ways its just sad enough that men are never satisfied even when they have 95%…..
    (whispers) @Eniola i feel you jare, thats the safest way..


  3. hmmm it seems some people here need the experience of loving someone and being loved in return…its not rosy every day but its an experience to thank God for…Please keep an open mind despite your past experiences.. its not easy but it can be done…


  4. Very good one, major problem is contentment we always want to eat our cake and also have it….. another problem is even not knowing what you want

    We just need to discipline ourselves


  5. Hmmmmm, well said but hw many guys in dis 21st century wuld do dat for ladies anymore or be contented wit wah dey’ve got? U knw wat I’ve knwn as a fact? Guys want d bad ones & make d loyal ones dat av had amazing & priceless moments together wit, feel inferior & dey’ll say “I want to spend everytime wit u(in & out of bed) but no Commitments, mushy mushy whatsoever” (scoffs) So here is my addition, don’t stay committed, stay single, stay focused, be ya own boss & live ya dreams. #wink


  6. True talk… There would sure be another 80/20 at some point if you decide to jump off to the 20 of today…


  7. Truth!
    It’s ojukokoro that used to affect some people at times.
    Even when you get married, you will still meet people that will make you ask where he or she has been all your life. .
    A chic has an awesome boyfriend in a long distance relationship. and then one dude in the shortest distance begin to give attention; rides after work, hangouts and all. and then feelings start and she starts doing all the comparisons she can ever do in the world. she begins to see bobo in the shortest distance as the closest to her heart.
    It’s just because she allowed herself suck up the attention.
    As it’s been said, It’s all about LOYALTY.
    Stay committed to one boo and don’t let your seemingly ‘better than the best’ rob you of whom is best for you and you alone.


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