Bachelor’s Sojourn- Part 5


The adventures of Omo Otunba started from Part 1. Click here to see how the journey started.
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I started begging, I forgot all the shades of “swagger” I had put on…then he said ‘shake body’. Unfortunately for me, I only had €20 bills on me. And that’s how I gave this law enforcement officer a whooping 9,000 Naira! Yes, I used the €1/N450 exchange rate. I don’t know which hurt more, maybe the value or my naivety (as I later discovered it’s common for them to do it to those with Virgin passports. Ghana doesn’t count, I’m guessing). I had always seen myself as a sharp guy, in fact, too sharp and street credible, to fall for this, and so I gradually awaited my next foreign travel. 
 
As I pulled my box along the aisle of the aircraft, I saw adesuwa taking pictures of herself and her business class seat. ‎Our eyes met and since she was in the last row of business
class, it was obvious I was moving to economy. Her hello was filled with downgrade, as if it’s only luggage that gets put in the economy cabin. Our brief conversation informed that she’s headed to London, but having a stop in Netherlands. In previous conversations, I’d always told people that I don’t know why people, especially celebrities see the need to show off business class cabins. In the case of an emergency, no one gets special attention neither is first class cabin safer in the plane, than the economy cabin. But today, kai!! I felt so bad walking into economy. I realize I had just being a hater all along! That girl’s look just made me really wish I were in business class. 
I got into my seat and I was getting comfortable. Set my cotton stuffed pillow, fastened seat belts, plugged my phone cord to the available port and began calling those that mattered, that I was due to take off soon. Economy cabin was beginning to look okay, until I saw a hostess take glasses of champagne to those in business class. What humiliation!! I’m never flying economy again. I resolved to take a picture upon landing at the business class cabin. “I gats to belong”! 
 
Those around me seemed to be used to flying, as many plugged their ears, used their eye masks and just tried to sleep. Me? No way! I observed everything, especially take off. From the sky, the city looked well lit, but I can bet a majority was from generators. I got tired of looking out, and concentrated on the few things around me. The desire for more legroom made me remember business class cabin again, and I remembered Adesuwa.
 
You know how people say girls get more matured and exposed faster than guys? Adesuwa is the one person I can say that proved that to me. We used to attend the same teen’s church, where we developed feelings for each other (more like a mutual crush). I gained admission into the university, while she was still in secondary school. We lost touch for a while and reconnected when she was in a college of education, while I was in my 2nd year in University. I had a sense of superiority over her, in terms of age, financial background, academic standing and type of institution attended. I would brag about how girls in my school liked me, and the type of parties I attended and my CGPA not suffering too much, and she would listen to me. Somehow, our conversation led to sex and we agreed to do it. She wasn’t a Virgin (and that really broke my heart. Why? Because firstly, I wondered why a 17-year old girl has already had sex with 3 guys. Secondly, like I said, I really liked her. Lastly I was still a Virgin, but I posed to be a bad guy) so it wasn’t a lot of drama getting to that point. I mean I’d done many other things with girls, but not actual sex.
One thing led to another, and I was on top of her, struggling to find “the way home”. True to it, all the experiences I’d gathered from watching any form of erotic films failed me. The most basic part of sex, which is actual penetration, and maintaining it, was herculean. She was nice enough to help me, and I was done in seconds. She laughed so hard at me. I tried to explain that she was just so ‘sweet’ but she knew better. After a few minutes of ‘fooling myself’, we were done and she left. Her first text message to me, on my beloved Alcatel phone was: “Tell me the truth, you are a Virgin. I’m home sha oh.” I then launched into a long explanation about how I’d done many other things but not the real thing. 
The shame severed our relationship but the deal breaker came 2 weeks after that encounter. Adesuwa called on my way to get dinner, in school, and said she was pregnant. My life jumped out of me and came back. I was going to get food, but I suddenly became so full, and even wanted to poop so badly. Sweat pangs grew, as I was shivering at the same time. Who would kill me first? My mum? Otunba? Aduwa’s folks? I told her to give me some minutes to get back to her. I gathered myself and decided to be a man. I launched into a long conversation of how much she meant to me, and how I’ll do anything she wants. If she wants to keep the baby, I would take responsibility. And if she decides to abort it, I would foot the bills and also be with her during the process. 
Her response was “Ki la gbe, ki le ju”, meaning ‘what did we carry, what did you throw’ or more simplified ‘what am I saying, what are you saying’. 
One more time, Adesuwa made a fool of me. She said she was just joking, that the condom was intact and it’s too soon to tell if she was pregnant. That’s when I had it! No more humiliation from this girl, and so I stopped communicating with her. Except when we run into each other at the mall, or Facebook birthday wishes, and other random social media sites, we lived separate lives. 
 
I drifted asleep on the flight, till I was woken to eat a tray full of different foods that I had no idea what their names were or how they were pronounced. Don’t get me wrong, they all looked familiar, but I couldn’t tell the exact name. I know it’s salad, but why is it purple? It’s bread but why the white seeds on it? It’s beef but why does it taste like snail? Well, I decided to eat what I could, as the 6-hour flight had 3 more hours to go. I slept a bit more, till I was tapped to adjust my seat and landing was due. Upon disembarking from the plane, I didn’t find the chance to take my business class picture. A good time would surface some day.  
 
All the needed things were done and checked, and in no time, I was at the arrival terminal, looking for Popo. I really hope I don’t call him that. However, daddy was not an option. I can’t call him that. Then our eyes meet, but I wasn’t so sure he was the one. He waved at me, and I walked towards him. My mind was racing. Am I to hug him? Or shake him? Can I trust him? Did he bring a police car? As I got closer, a white woman moved forward and gives me a full fledged hug and says ‘Oladeji, hey!!!’- ‘Who on earth is that?’ was the thought racing through my mind? Abi Popo had “Bruce Jennered” us??
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Click here to read part 6.
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4 thoughts on “Bachelor’s Sojourn- Part 5

Add yours

  1. 😂😂😂 please tell me it’s a set up and you were kidnapped by the “Bruce jenner” in part 6

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