The sEvEn Virgins

I rubbed my palms. This just had to be the best things ever. Every guy would drool at such an opportunity: 7 VIRGINS, all at once.

I’d been invited for an interview. This isn’t the type of job you get, and they might not pick you. The job was guaranteed; just do the interview, very few trainings, and you are an expert.

I got there and saw fellow applicants. Most were young men, with few women.

The MD addressed us, and we settled in a big mansion. That’s where we were to live while trainings are on.

Fast forward, some days later, our instructor appears.

“Listen up every one, and pay attention. I’m going to do this once” he said from a reasonable distance.  In no time, the cylinders and electric cables and other materials blew up, and his body was scattered. MD said some praise words and told us the instructor just got 7 virgins as his blessings.

I was dazed. Where am I to enjoy dis virgins? In paradise? Heaven or hell?

Then I sat to analyze it. I die and get to paradise (or where ever). If I have 7 virgins, Hmmmmn, jackpot. I’ll do one in January, and enjoy her sweetness for 3 months maximum, and she becomes like every other woman on the road who isn’t a Virgin. Over to the next in April, and enjoy her for 3 months. So after 21 months, which is less than 2 years, I’m done milking the best they can offer. The limitation in paradise (or wherever) is that you spend all your time having sex with your 7 virgins, and that means they will wear out faster, LOL.  And by the way, do the female bombers get male virgins also (dulling of life), or become homosexuals with the 7 virgin presents?

Isn’t it better to stay on mother earth alive, with more women (in every shape and color, with your option to choose your taste) and your Mercedes Benz, and more luxuries? Than to make so many dead, and families sad, and then be restricted to just 7 virgins who would bore you so soon. Some unilag big boys have had more than 7 virgins in their undergraduate days.

Shun terrorism, enjoy your life on earth instead.